Patience
by Persephone of Peridot
Summary: What if Merlin had TALKED to Morgana at the end of The Fires of Idirsholas? What might have happened differently? *Major spoilers for this episode*


**(A/N: As much as I absolutely adored this episode, and it was such a relief to see one that didn't feel rushed, wasn't all about the guest star, and really explored the depths of the characters like they did in the first season, there was something that bothered me. Colin Morgan totally rocked the scene with Morgana at the end but I couldn't help but feel, much as I did in the episode with Mordred and the Crystal, that if he had just talked to Morgana things might have happened differently. Even in this episode you could see that Morgana wasn't all gung-ho evil and wanting to kill everyone in Camelot. I like to think she's just misguided, shortsighted, afraid and lonely. So as soon as I watched the episode I had to write this, to play out what I think could have happened. Sorry if its a little rough but its as good as I'm going to make it. I don't think I'll continue this but if anyone wants me too I'll need ideas. So please review and let me know what you think!**)

* * *

The silence as the door slammed shut behind Arthur was deafening.

"He's not going to survive out there," Morgana said, sounding fearful.

Merlin turned to face her slowly, trying to fight off the dizziness and exhaustion that plagued him.

"I know," he replied breathlessly, leaning against the door to keep himself upright.

"We've got to do something," she said, a desperate, pleading edge to her voice now.

Merlin looked up at her slowly, his face deadly serious, "Only you can save him now."

"What do you mean?" Morgana's eyes were wide, her expression openly shocked and terrified, "I'm not doing this."

"But you are," Merlin said, pushing away from the door and staggering a few steps towards her, "Why else would you be the only one unaffected by the spell? Why else would that knight not kill you? I'm not an idiot, Morgana. I know you helped the Druid boy. I caught you in Arthur's chambers, remember? But I said nothing because you're my friend and I didn't want it to be true. But now? You have tried to kill Uther before. I have no reason to believe you wouldn't do it again."

"But I haven't done anything," she protested, backing away from him slowly.

"You have been talking to Morgause though, haven't you?" Merlin accused, a wild look in his eyes, "You were not at all surprised when you heard it was her leading the attack. You may not be the one performing the spell directly but you are the vessel. The magic that is leaving Camelot defenseless is tied to your magic and your life and the only way to end it is to kill you."

A heavy silence fell between them, echoing in the face of the ugly truth. Morgana stood frozen, gaping at him.

"How do you know this?" she whispered finally, staring at him as though she had never seen him before.

Merlin hesitated, "I did not grow up here, Morgana. Things are not quite so strict where I am from. How else did I know where to find the Druids? I am not completely ignorant about the ways of magic. That was how I could tell that you had it."

Morgana said nothing and Merlin looked at her desperately. He didn't want to do as the Dragon had said. He wanted another option. Any option.

"What would you have me do?" he demanded, his tone bordering on hysterical, "I have always considered you my friend but you are now a threat to everything that I care about! If Morgause succeeds, all of Camelot will fall. Uther will die, Arthur will die, we will all die! How can I justify protecting you when you were willing to sell us out to a sorcerer that you barely know? Me, Gwen, Arthur, your friends; your family. Do we mean so little to you? How can I let you live when I know that if I do everyone that I love will die?"

"But I didn't want all this!" she blurted out, waving her arms around hysterically, "I didn't want everyone in Camelot to be in danger. I would never be that selfish. I-," here she paused, her voice dropping to a soft whisper, "I just wanted to be free of this constant fear that I will be discovered. I just wanted to live without having to hide who and what I am."

Silence fell again and they stared at each other before starting as the room trembled, the noise from the battle outside growing louder.

Merlin glanced at the door, the only thing that was protecting them now before looking back at her earnestly, "Morgana, I understand that, probably more than you will ever understand. But you have to see that _this isn't the way_. Violence, revenge, anger: what good does it do? It was revenge that started this whole stupid war in the first place. Violence only begets more violence. If you were to kill Uther, what would follow? Arthur is not ready to be king. The neighboring kingdoms would see that Camelot is weak and would take advantage and Camelot would fall to ruin. Is that what you want? To see innocent people slaughtered and your home burned to the ground? This is not the way to get the peace that you desire."

Morgana stared at him her eyes wide and Merlin could tell that he was getting through to her. "You must think about the big picture," he said, taking a step closer to her, "Whatever small relief Uther's death would bring you, it wouldn't last," he hesitated and then continued, "Morgana, there is a prophecy about Arthur. That he will be the one to return magic to the land and create a reign of peace and prosperity like no one has ever seen. I promise you, that there will be a day when you will be free of the chains that Uther's reign has on you. But, please, you must see that that day is _not_ now."

Morgana watched him in silence, and Merlin wondered whether he should have told her about the prophecy or not. But they were both distracted from their quiet contemplation as the room shook again.

Merlin regained his footing, even as his legs trembled violently. He was quickly reaching the end of this strength. They needed to end this. Now.

"Morgana," Merlin stated, his voice anguished but his eyes determined, "If you cannot find a way to break the spell, then I'm sorry, but I have no choice. I cannot allow Camelot to suffer if it is within my power to prevent it. Not even for a friend."

Morgana swallowed hard, her eyes bright with fear, but also acceptance, "I-I don't know what to do."

Merlin thought for a moment and then said, "Close your eyes." Morgana immediately did as she was told, "Now focus on your breathing and try to clear your mind."

Merlin watched her in silence as he saw her breathing, which has been disparate with fear slowly even out and her shoulder relaxed.

"Now look inside yourself," Merlin said softly, "Search for your core, where all your magic, where your very life stems from."

A very small crease appeared between her eyebrows and Merlin could see her eyes darting around beneath her closed eyelids. When she finally let out a little gasp he knew she'd found it.

He looked behind him as the door to the throne room gave an ominous creek and prayed that they would not be interrupted.

"Find where your magic is leaving you," Merlin said, trying to sound calm, "Considering the strength of the spell it should be a pretty big stream. Try to locate where it is being pulled away."

Merlin watched her anxiously, glancing back at the door every so often, wondering if Arthur was hurt or even dead already. He really hoped this worked. If not…he didn't know what he'd do.

"I found it," Morgana said softly, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Merlin focused on her again, "Okay. Now start to break the threads and cut off the flow. Call it back to you. It's your magic so it should respond to your will. Tell it that your need of it is finished and to return to you."

Morgana frowned in concentration, her brow furrowed. Merlin watched her intensely, willing this to work.

Then she hesitated, "I can't- It won't-"

Merlin's heart sank and he knew he had to try one last thing, "Okay, hold on. Keep trying."

Merlin closed his eyes and focused on his own core. Having done this a few times before, he found it much more quickly than Morgana had. Drawing on the fiery orb of power within him, he reached tendrils of it out to Morgana. It did not take long, his magic seeming to be magnetically drawn to hers. Pushing further, he found the drain on her magic and was caught of guard by the sheer size of it. She must be really powerful if she was able to pull off a spell of this magnitude and still be conscious after all this time. But then he joined his will with hers and ordered the magic to return to whom it belongs.

For a moment, a horrible, heart-wrenching moment, Merlin thought it wasn't going to be enough. But then, slowly, it began to respond.

"It's working Merlin," Morgana said, excitedly, startling him.

"Good job," Merlin replied distractedly, still working to get the magic to do what he wanted, "Keep it up."

Finally, after what felt like hours, the spell was broken and Merlin opened his eyes. Immediately, the world spun around him and he collapsed to the floor, trying to fight the blackness that threatened to overwhelm him.

"Merlin!" he heard Morgana cry and suddenly he was cradled in her arms, "What's wrong? I stopped the spell."

"Thank god," Merlin whispered. He knew that the reason he was so weak was not the spell, but the enormous effort it had taken to stop it. It was lucky that he had been able to help her, or she never would have been able to on her own.

But he didn't have time to dwell on this as the door to the throne room was suddenly blown off its hinges and Morgause stormed into the room with a scream of fury.

"What have you done?!" she yelled accusingly at Morgana, her eyes flashing golden in her rage, hair flying wildly around her, "You broke the spell!"

"You used me!" Morgana yelled right back, not moving from where she sat with Merlin in her lap, "You lured me out into the forest and placed that enchantment on me without my knowledge or consent. You-"

"You told me you wanted Uther's reign to be at an end," Morgause said venomously, her voice soft, "You told me you were on my side. Was that not consent enough?"

"I said I wanted him dead, yes," Morgana said, her eyes flashing golden also, "But I never said I wanted to bring that about at the expense of the whole of Camelot."

"Sometimes sacrifices must be made," Morgause argued stony-faced, flipping her hair over her shoulder and standing proudly, "I was prepared for what may come in order to finally kill the man who has caused so much pain and suffering for our kind, but obviously you were not."

"I do not believe in killing innocent people for petty revenge," Morgana stated firmly, holding her head high, looking every bit the noblewoman and powerful sorceress that she was, "I would rather live in fear for the rest of my life than be responsible for the ruin of my kingdom."

Morgause's eyes narrowed.

"Then on your head be it," Morgause whispered in a deadly voice, "when Uther drags you to the executioner's block like he did so many others. I no longer consider you my sister."

Then with another scream of fury and a whirlwind of magic she was gone and the whole castle fell eerily silent.

"Sister?" Morgana repeated in a whisper, confused.

Suddenly, Arthur came skidding into the room.

"What happened?" he exclaimed, looking around the room wildly, "I was fighting the knights when suddenly they all disappeared and I didn't feel tired anymore and- Father!"

All heads turned to where the King had been sleeping only to see him sitting up slowly, as he returned to consciousness.

"The spell is broken then," Arthur said, staring at his father and then back at Morgana, "And Morgause and the Knights are gone. But why would they- what's wrong with Merlin?"

Morgana started at the abrupt turn in conversation and looked back down at the man cradled in her arms. "He collapsed shortly before the spell was lifted," she said, checking his forehead for a fever, "I don't know what's wrong with him."

Merlin listened to all of this, only half aware of what was going on. He had sighed in relief when he'd felt Morgause leave, able to sense that her powerful presence was finally gone, but everything after that was a blur. He was slowly losing his grip on consciousness and his breathing was labored as the events of the day took their toll.

"We should bring him to Gaius. Hopefully he will also be awake by now," Arthur said, nodding his head at one of the newly awakened guards who had followed him into the throne room, "Carry him down to the physician's quarters and help Gaius with whatever he needs. We do not know if this enchanted sleep will have any lasting effects and we don't need him overexerting himself so soon after being free of it."

Morgana stood as the guard lifted Merlin from her lap, his head lolling back weakly, "I will accompany him."

Arthur looked at her and raised his eyebrows in silent question. Morgana searched for an answer, "He helped protect me from Morgause. She came in here before she vanished. I owe it to him to make sure he's alright and I also might know something that might aid in his recovery. Perhaps his ailment is the result of magic."

Arthur looked at his manservant in concern before he nodded. "Go ahead then. And try to make sure Gaius is ok too."

Morgana inclined her head regally before following the guard out the door.

* * *

When Merlin finally returned to consciousness, he woke to find Morgana sitting at his bedside reading a book.

"My lady," he croaked before he was cut off by violent coughing.

Morgana jumped when he addressed her, her head whipping up and he book falling to the ground. But when she saw him coughing, she quickly helped him lift head and held a glass of water to his mouth so he could drink from it.

Finally, the coughing stopped and Merlin lay back down, trying to catch his breath. In the meantime, Morgana looked down at him, relief evident in her eyes, "Thank goodness you're awake, Merlin. You had us worried for a while there."

"What happened?" Merlin asked as he tried to sit up, but her hand gently pushed him back.

"You were very ill," Morgana said, "Gaius said it was exhaustion and a fever. It seems that you reacted worse than anyone else to the effects of the enchantment."

"Oh," Merlin said, softly, looking up at her, "So, why are you here?"

Morgana looked down at him kindly, "I was worried about you. You are a good man, Merlin, and I couldn't bear to lose your friendship. You saved me from my own fear, from myself, in that throne room and I couldn't live with myself if you were here dying while I was tucked away in my chambers."

"Dying?" Merlin repeated, eyes wide, "Just how sick was I?"

"Very," Morgana said, "I think you even stopped breathing for a moment or two. Arthur was frantic. He kept yelling that if you didn't start breathing again he was going to find a way for you to be forced to muck out horses in the afterlife for all eternity."

Merlin snorted, "Arthur would say that."

"Quite," Morgana said dryly, her eyes twinkling in good humor, "But then you started breathing again and we were all very relieved."

"Is Gaius ok?" Merlin asked, eyes widening as he remembered the state his mentor had last been in, "And Gwen? And-"

"Everyone is fine," Morgana said reassuringly, "Like I said, you were the only one to suffer any lasting effects."

"Good," Merlin said in relief, "Although I'm sure Arthur is going to mock me for it. He'll say it's a testament to how weak I am that I almost died from an enchantment that everyone else was none the worse for."

"I wouldn't put it past him," Morgana smiled, "Although you can just remind him of the fact that he very nearly cried when he'd thought you died. That should shut him up."

"That'd probably just get me a whack 'round the head," Merlin said, before turning serious. It was nice that everything had returned to normal but there was some things that needed to be said, "Morgana about what happened, I-"

"I want to thank you, Merlin," Morgana said sincerely, her face also serious, "I…sometimes have trouble understanding the consequences of my actions. I am not one to think ahead. You could call me rash, even reckless. I am also selfish. I thought only of my own suffering, not that my decisions could create suffering for others. Arthur is more mature than me in that way, thought if you ever impart that I said as much to him I will vehemently deny it. He understands his duty as a prince. His honor and courage is something I have always admired him for. I, myself, am still learning what a responsibility being the King's ward is, particularly being what I am. I have not had the weight of the kingdom on my shoulders as Arthur has and that has made me a little more self-serving. But I want you to know that I was trying to do what I thought was right. Uther has caused pain for so many and I thought that with his death I could help…but I was wrong. Uther's death would mean nothing but that I was a murderer and would bring nothing but more murders. And you saved me from that fate, Merlin. For that I am indebted to you."

"I do not deserve your praise," Merlin shook his head, "I should have confronted you earlier. Perhaps if I had spoken to you before all of this could have been avoided."

"Perhaps," Morgana allowed, with a slight inclination of the head, "but perhaps not. All that matters is that Morgause is gone and I now understand what I must do. I may not enjoy having to hide what I am but it is my burden to bear, as being the future king is Arthur's, and I will do everything I can to ensure that the prophecy you told me of comes to pass. Patience is a skill I have struggled with in the past, but one I will learn in time."

Merlin smiled at her, "I have the utmost confidence in you."

"I know you do," Morgana smiled back, "or you would not have bothered to confront me in the first place."

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments while Merlin enjoyed the fact that Morgana appeared to have decided to use her magic for the same cause that he did. To ensure that Arthur would live to unite the lands of Albion as it has been foretold.

"Merlin," Morgana said finally, and Merlin looked up at her, noticing that her tone was hesitant, "What can you tell me about magic?"

Merlin opened his mouth to respond, before he shut it abruptly, "Um……."

_-Finis-_

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